Scott was born in 1972, according to a copy of a copy of a birth certificate that was reissued due to a series of mishaps that caused the first six officially issued certificates to be lost or destroyed. It's pretty certain that the name and date of birth are correct. We think...

His hobbies include: spit-roasting puppies (no, they don't taste like chicken), kitten kickoffs and making LARPers cry.

Quote: "No matter what you do, you always pay for it."

James was born in the year 1969. Or, more accurately, hatched. The product of advanced genetic research, James (Project X-12, code-named Chicken-Boy as he was known to the geneticists) soon learned how to play championship tic-tac-toe both as part of the government experiment and as a means of survival. After many long years on the road with the circus, James has settled down in New Gloucester, Maine.

Quote: "Do you trust me?"

Quote #2: "Jesus Rollerskating Christ! "